The hardest thing about considering saying goodbye to my boyfriend of eight years is that I don%26#039;t want to leave the person. I wanted him to be the one I married, and he hasn%26#039;t left me because he does want me there too. But this thanksgiving has made me feel like I really can%26#039;t do it anymore. It was a breaking point.
I juggled my schedule around so that I could spend time with my family and him on Thanksgiving. A year ago at this time I told him how much Holidays bothered me as him as my boyfriend because not only does he not come to visit my family (which is 15 minutes away from his family) but he does so because he can%26#039;t break away from his because then he would have to explain to his mom that maybe he has a girlfriend. We%26#039;re 23 and 24 years old and a year ago our holiday and family situation was suppose to be worked on and fixed by now.
Now yet another holiday I%26#039;m the only one that doesn%26#039;t have a significant other with my family wondering if I%26#039;m still dating the same guy and wondering where he is.
I asked him if he was bringing his little brother back to town with him for the weekend five times, and he continued to say NO! Now the night before he is to arrive home he informs me his little brother is indeed coming back with him. Family is important to me so I don%26#039;t mind him being with his family. But what bothers me is his schedule always changes so that he can sleep in, or see his family longer, or if they%26#039;re in town he takes off, but never changes his work schedule for our time together. But the most bothering is the excessiveness his brother comes over.
And it%26#039;s sad to see two brothers who essentially only have each other. My boyfriend basically could care less if he sees people as long as he%26#039;s got someone on xbox live or his brother there. Even me he doesn%26#039;t seem to care. And a 13 and 14 year old I would think would want to spend time with friends or make friends his age or think about girlfriends but all he does is ask to come over for weeks at a time. Last summer he was around for 6 weeks, and the summer before 6 weeks. All he does is bum around the couch playing one video game after another from 10am to 2am...no friends... nothing.
Then MEA weekend he%26#039;s there for four days, and Thanksgiving break he%26#039;s there for a half a week, and Christmas time it%26#039;s two weeks.
My boyfriend said we%26#039;d discuss and make the next holiday better (Christmas) but i feel like I%26#039;ve heard that before. I feel like I will spend yet another holiday not being able to call or see my bf who is just miles away just because his family is in control and doesn%26#039;t want our relationship to exist. I dont want to leave the person because when his brother isn%26#039;t around or he%26#039;s back on his own where he works he%26#039;s a pretty decent guy. But the holidays are always a time that make me so depressed and remind me how much our relationship doesn%26#039;t seem very serious like it use to.
How do I say goodbye to an eight year relationship.....How to say goodbye to eight years....?wow this is so tough.. im so sorry it had to be like this for you
maybe the best way to do it is find time and sit down just the two of u in a private place like ur apartment or something. and have a long talk about all of it. (talk as in break up speech) think of what u want to say and make sure that gets across to him. try not to get mad with each other and try to stay as calm as possible. i hope you find your happiness again. you will find a guy that will satisfy you and make you happy.
GOOD LUCK HUN!How to say goodbye to eight years....?you don%26#039;t need to say goodbye, if you love him and he loves you get married, it%26#039;s clear that your both very in love. remember your marring him, not his familyHow to say goodbye to eight years....?Wow sounds like the same thing that happened to my oldest sister. She dated a guy for 8 years I always thought they would get married he was part of our family. The truth is the reason they lasted so long is because thats all they ever knew was to be together and not try new things. A year later my sister met a guy who is her fiance now. Anyways I dont want to sound cruel but if you do break up with him don%26#039;t try and be friends. Cold turkey is the only way break up and move on or you will be heart broken for so much longer. How to say goodbye to eight years....?you HAVE to talk to him about it NOW
you have too much to just say goodbye and leave him
TALK TO HIM ABOUT ITHow to say goodbye to eight years....?yes its hard but hes a little boy not a man.. if his mum dose the looking after his life.. and not you .. just dump him ..or kick the jurk out.. as you must come first not his mum .. good luck.. How to say goodbye to eight years....?is the holidays all that matters? you have to think about the rest of the year. is is the same way? or are you happy the rest of the year?How to say goodbye to eight years....?Wow..this is weird...im having trouble with my boyfriend and we are 14/15 and im trying to find a way to say goodbye too..i don%26#039;t know but its hard to say goodbye...maybe you shouldn%26#039;t, every relationship cant be perfect and there are they downfalls..but don%26#039;t listen to be im 14 years old.How to say goodbye to eight years....?It%26#039;s the hardest thing. But one of the most important things you need to do is say this to him. I really think for you to have a closure, you need to put this all out to him-he needs to know--because if he doesn%26#039;t then it will just seem like there was no problems. When in fact there was, and what was more important was that it was over time....it added up, till it became unbearable.
So, haev a heart to heart talk with your boyfriend. And if you totally cannot, then maybe write him a letter. I would type it out, just cuz I am not a big fan of leaving %26quot;handwritten%26quot; letters trailing behind when I move on. But sometimes it%26#039;s hard to say these things in person...so writing is a form of release. Write it and send it to him...let him know, and then see how he reacts. If you can have a talk with him,t hat%26#039;s good...but if you want to leave it that way, that%26#039;s also fine.
Basically, you need to let him know, only then can you get any closure...
hope this helps,
I am sorry to hear about this,
Hopefully things will work out for you-:)How to say goodbye to eight years....?You just gotta say goodbye. Its hard. If family is that important to you ,it is me too, then you need someone who will make the time. Im sure you love him, but thats ridiculous.How to say goodbye to eight years....?its is not that he is perfect but...
are you perfect for each other
there will always be tenion u just got to work around itHow to say goodbye to eight years....?i dont think you need to say bye just yet. tlk to him about it one last time. tell him ur tlking to him now, but next time your just gunna pack your bags. give him a choice..does he want you or not! and if he does, he better act like itHow to say goodbye to eight years....?ok if this guy wont even spend time with you and your family i would rethink his commitment to you to begin with. just sounds like he thinks only of himself. you are making your schedule around him but he wont for you. if you marry him, it will only get worse as he will expect more from you but with no intent on doing the same in return.
selfish people demand others to do for them but refuse to do for others and all marriage will do is increase they expectations he will have for you.
what i would do is talk to him and just say %26quot;listen love, we%26#039;ve been together 8 years and yet you still refuse to spend time with me and my family on holidays. that will need to change because i can%26#039;t spend the rest of my life with someone who wont even spend time with me and my family on the holidays specially when its not going out of your way to do so.%26quot;.
you have make him choose the relationship and doing what is needed to make you both happy or have him walk if he wont do anything but the things he is ok with doing. you wont be happy in the end if all your doing is giving and all he is doing is taking. 8 years gone is better then a lifetime of suffering.How to say goodbye to eight years....?Just let him know that you want him but unless he is ready to give you some sort of a sign or make an appearence at christmas with you then your going to move on. If he cares for you he will `do try to make you happy. How to say goodbye to eight years....?know how u feel its never easy.funny enough since my bf and i have been 2gether for 4 yrs we have only spen 2 christmas together because my family gets upset and wants me home with them. did you aactually see this little brother on several occasions with your own eye? if not then it could be someone else.are you absolutely sure he is ALWAys around family? not saying he%26#039;s cheating. I dont bring my boyfriend around my house and i dont talk about him around my father.my dad has certain expectations so i pretend he%26#039;s non-existent which use to bother my bf a lot but my dad knew all along and recently seems to accept t better than i thought. i can see how ur bf might feel pressure not to have u around.im 22 and my bf is 26.did he tell u why its hard to have u around though. not saying he%26#039;s guilty but ensure he%26#039;s spending time where he says as for u i think he%26#039;s gonna expect u to keep taking a backseat for christmas which is sad. i dont think u should throw away 8 years because of christmas but he needs to spend some time even 2 hrs on that special day if that is what ur saying.i sneak out of the house on christmas to go see my boo then get back in time for family gatherings. i usually tell them i went to go look for something i wanted to buy but didn%26#039;t get it. does he have guy fiends he could use as excuses. seeing he lives 15 mins from u sneaking out now and then shouldnt be to hard. understand how u feel but dont think much wiill change but dont think u should throw away 8 years for thatHow to say goodbye to eight years....? I think you need to sit down with him and tell him how you feel,and why it hurts your feelings,and he needs to grow up.I know, it%26#039;s easier said then done ! Guy%26#039;s are slow about maturing,and some time%26#039;s a wake up call is order...If it%26#039;s mainly about the family,and friends,maybe you could get a calender and work out at least a month ahead of time,write down the days you want him to come to your family,and his,and friends, and see if you both can agree to something that would make you both happy,write it down %26quot;with him%26quot;,and maybe you could come up with something that could make you,at least content...Relationship is not a 50/50 deal,sometimes you have to give more, and he does also.If you feel it%26#039;s better to give in more sometimes that%26#039;s great,but you need to stand your ground when you think your right,and he should give.You have 8 years in your relationship,and if you really love him,and he really loves you,you can overcome all obstacles.If he doesn%26#039;t want to try to work any of this out,I think you should end it....If he is understanding,and wants to try to make it work,and you too, that%26#039;s a plus for both of you.Honesty,from both of you, and telling him how you feel are to me the best thing to helping a relationship....
