About 11 or 12 then, and i didn't sleep all night, i stayed up crying and was thinking somehow this was my fault. i didn't know what to do, i couldn't really go to anyone because i'm not the type of person that opens up to people very easily. My friends always seem like they have great lives; even my closest friend who lost his dad at age 7. They never act like something is bothering them or the weight of the whole world is on their shoulders. Recently i have been feeling really down, i'd say it started about a year ago, my grades started to fall and i really didn't care about much in life. I do play sports but it's not like i am the best on the team. But i just sometimes feel like i shouldn't be here. or i don't belong here. My parents seem like they hate me, they are both teachers, but they say that don't. What i don't understand is that they treat me with much less respect than that with they treated my older brother even when they knew he was doing illegal stuff, he never changed, they just let him do what ever he wanted, the only thing was that they said that was because he got better grades than you. I understand they don't want me to turn out like he did but when i do bad on a test or get a C in a class, they criticize me to the point were i dont want to be around them, or anyone, i just want to be alone, listen to my eminem or music that would actually do some good for mr. Or end my life. they say death ends everything, well than why would i not make everything eaiser for me, and my parents. they take away my things such as Xbox Cell Phone, my computer games. It seems like everyday life gets harder, i just don't want to have to deal with this **** anymore. after 4 years it gets really old. i feel like im really depressed like 80% of the time. i honestly don't know why i am writing this to the public, but i feel like i need to hear what people that have had these expirences did to regain confidence in their self. I may have been blabbiling, annoying, irrational, and just plain stupid. but i really need help. If no one else has to deal with this **** why would i. I also have began to lose my faith in god. I don't see how if god is in controll of everything, why would he pick me for all this hardship.I feel like life isn't worth living. what do i do?well, i would say....go spend some time in a cancer ward, get the hell away from your obviously toxic family and start fresh. ( when you are old enough)
sorry I cant say I had my tech toys ( X box ...etc) %26quot;taken away%26quot; gee that would make life hell.
there way the **** more to life than a cell phones, computer games and family crap.
